remain_sustain

you
are
so
fucked up
and
selfish
and completely
KKJDFDHFDS

WHO DOES THAT? REALLY?



this bed is no longer yours. neither are these legs.

I keep typing stuff and deleting it because I don't know what to say.

Shit happens. --- Life story.


I wish everyone (including myself) could get over the silly little things that hold them back from feeling 100% every day.

I wish it would be sunny outside for the whole entire day.

I hope I can find a job soon and make some cash. I really hope you get one of the various jobs you applied for and I don't see you much this summer cause honestly you're bringing me down. Every nice thing you say, every smile you give me, tears me apart. You're not trying to but you are just so wonderful. Everything about you is so perfect except for the fact that you just couldn't feel the same.

No one really writes these anymore.

My junior year of high school is just about over...can't say I'm too upset about it.
but it doesn't feel like summer to me for some reason.

I feel weird.

P.S. - I am hoping that one night those weird feelings will return to you and stay for a long time.

I am not ashamed.

I like how you call me.

Falling out of love is like giving up a drug
I can't move on with my life
You have my heart as fractured as it is
Even if we have to say goodbye

Me and Shane died.
Intheclear is dying.
WHY

being dumped really sucks

Two hundred miles away from home.
Two hundred miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs.
But you don't care at all
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs, oh my lungs.

You demand to be chased for your love.
My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
But you don't care at all.
There's nothing I can do to draw you close to me.

Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
I've been trying to ignore the best part of you.
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow.

Please be home tonight.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel,
Every time you're here.

What would it take for me to be with you?
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed, please be impressed.
I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all, oh at all.

Hopeless love please leave me.
This broken heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
Why don't you care at all?
I'm dying for a place in your heart.

Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
I've been trying to ignore the best part of you.
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow.

Please be home tonight.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel,
Every time you're here.

Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight.
And now I regret the day we met.
And help me forget your name.

I am getting happier by the second.

I AM SO UPSET RIGHT NOW. I managed to repress my anger for a few hours while Jackie entertained me and befriended me. BUT NOW! I am so sad. Dissapointed.

Surprise? No.
Expected? Yes.

I do not have the time, energy, or heart left to deal with friends that sponge off of me. AND I'M SERIOUS for once. Kind of. I'm the queen of second chances...but no more. At least I'm going to try. Cause when it gets to like..20th chances then it kind of sucks. And it stops seeming worth it. Well, I'm making the exception for Cooper..again..cause I suck.

I really like talking on the phone with you... a lot.
I like how you make me smile no matter how sad I am.
You make me more sad than anyone else though, especially today.


This week isn't fun.

It's supposed to be 80 degrees on Saturday.
Dion is coming home on Friday night <3
I don't know when Shane is coming home...............................


DOT DOT DOT
...

I like reading Evan's entries.


I rarely capitalize where I'm supposed to capitalize, but today is different.

After eating my feelings for 3 days straight, I should probably start jogging my feelings.

Still no phone call.

I really like meeting new nice people.

I really like wearing my little blue hat.

I don't really like doing my hair anymore,but I am in serious need of a haircut.

I should jog to a salon?

I kind of have money right now and I'm so overwhelmed I can't even spend it, so I stole 30$ sandals. Oops.

i'm scared. i want to hear from you. i miss you. i love you. come home.


reuniting with someone as important as this someone was once in my life was awkward..even though we reunite often and it's just as awkward. i hate this someone and can't help but love them as well. this someone was always there for me...


anyways, i love jess springer, and yet i still hate her cat.

***** ***** likes when people poop on her chest. GROSS!

gee, thanks

I am confused
and lonely

more importantly lonely

i am never watching sex and the city the movie again
it really upsets me

tonight shouldn't have happened


since everyone talks about people in there entries now secretly i am going to start......

xoxx,
no no no no no! i love you and i want you to be happy but i can not be your happiness and i feel so bad and i've let you think that i can be. noooooooo!

xxaxx,
i haven't heard your voice since monday. i need you. i need you to need me. i need to feel secure. i want to feel like it did 4 months ago...not that it's a necessity...

xexx,
i miss you. you are the strongest person i know. physically and emotionally. i realized it the other day on the bus to school. not that you were there or anything..i just thought about all that you're going through and how you still manage to smile and make me smile and be so freakin' awesome..you're great and i love you and your piggy shoes <3 we have so much in common and i feel like you're the only person that understands or can at least pretend to understand what i'm saying.. sorry so many people write livejournals about you, haha


xyxx,
i love you. i'm excited.

things have been weird..

5 months today, and it's unreal. Even if things aren't perfect, I know they're going to get better. At least I really hope everything gets better, cause I love you more than anything else in this world.

I am going to prom with Kyle. All my wildest dreams have finally come true.

Dion won't stop complaining that I don't mention him in my livejournal. So i guess i'm going to rant about Dion. Here it goes.


......................

Nevermind haha

shit! nothing makes sense! so i won't think about it. I'll go with the ignorance.

OSHA isn't as bad as i imagined but it's still pretty fucking bad.

things are weird.

Oh, Person X...